As a child, I always wanted to be married. Marriage proved success in our culture. Married people are more respected and favored.
I got married very young, I just wanted to be with a good man. He seemed good and a Christian Minister. I thought that He will make my father proud of me. Since my father is a Pastor. I met my-ex husband in Real Estate school. He treated me really well. He helped me out with understand the licencing exams amongst other things. Only problem I had was socially. At that time, most of my friends were Nigerian and I was with an African American man. I didn’t see the big deal but it was even for my family.
After marriage, life was good, we both had successful careers. We relocated right after the birth of our son and I noticed we weren’t as close anymore. There was no romance, no respect, no trust and I coudnt live like that.
I tried to figure out why we were so distant from eachother and then I later found out my ex-husband was having an affair with a friend, in the same church, in the choir.
I eventually found the courage to leave when my-ex husband became violent. I left and I havent look back.
I focused on my career and my career did take off. I became a hot shot in town. My phone always going off because I had a really good resume which I published online.
I have dated, been engaged, been celibate for 4 years, then not celibate. I can say based on my experience being single is what’s best for me. Why? I’m always happier when single, I love my company, I love myself, I don’t need a man to validate me.
Most people, especially Africans, tend to cut off ties with their single friends when they get married. They will not respect you until you are married. Yet most of them have the most horrible marriages.
Times have changed from when men provided and the women were homemakers. Women now provide and still hold down the home.
I love being happily divorced. Being a single mum can be challenging and I’m doing it with a disability. I know I ROCK!
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